The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
