My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
