I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
