Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
