i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
