you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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