umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
