we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
