Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
