I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
