is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
