Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
