haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
