I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
