If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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