I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
