His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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