We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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