Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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