so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
