I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
