I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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