He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
