NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
