At least make sure they are 18
Why
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Randomize
