i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
