Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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