ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
