White coat. Heels.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
