I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
