my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
