this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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