I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
