oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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