He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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