brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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