70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
God, I missed his penis.
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