I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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