We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
