i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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