I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
