Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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