Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
