let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
