Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
