i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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