I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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