Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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