It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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