Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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