Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
